How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair?
And how many times did you swear
That you'd never love again?
How many lonely, sleepless nights?
How many lies, how many fights?
And why would you want to
Put yourself through all of that again?

Love is pain I hear you say
Love has a cruel and bitter way of
Paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?
You never want to feel so sad and lost again

One day you could be looking
Through and old book in rainy weather
You see a picture of her smiling at you
When you were still together
Or you could be walking down the street
And who should you chance to meet
But that same old smile you've been thinking of all day?

Why don't we turn the clock back to zero honey
I'll sell the stock we'll spend all the money
We're starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back
I wonder if she'll take me back
I'm thinking in a brand new way

Turn the clock to zero sister
You'll never know how much I missed her
I'm starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero boss
The river's wide we'll swim across
We're starting up a brand new day

It could happen to you,
Just like it happened to me,
There is simply no immunity
There's no guarantee.
Love is such a force if you should find yourself in it
You need some time for reflection
You say, baby wait a minute, wait a minute

--from "Brand New Day" by Sting

Sunday, 17 October 1999 12:27am, sunday night

So. It's a blank page. And a garish color scheme. But whatever. So today. I woke up. Went to Fashion Valley with Cami and Helen. We ate food. We watched American Beauty. We got depressed. We went to the Friday's downtown. Helen bought for me the desert that she owed me from a bet.
It was good. We realized that college is almost over. Most people find the person they are going to marry while they are in college. And if they don't? Well, then they have to hit the bar scene. So as if the movie wasn't depressing enough already, I have the bar scene looming over my head.
Natalie Portman's new movie is coming out next weekend. Hmmm. How many years will it be before she starts hitting the bars? It might not be too bad then. Except she's probably an east-coastie.
I'm excited about going to see Sting in two weeks. It's gonna be cool. It's gonna be great. And it's gonna be better than the last time when I had to see it by myself. In related news, I think I am going to Disneyland on Halloween with Cami, Helen and Cami's sister Leslie and her crew. I think we should convince Trista to go to. But her little guy has probably got other ideas.
Later on tonight, we (me, Cami and Helen) went skating around on campus. It was fun. But for some reason, I just wanted to sit on the side of the road and cry. But I'm happy. The past 9 months of my life have been great. This is a really exciting part of my life. I'm constantly on the verge of something big. I'm at a really great place.
This song over there on the right goes out to all you frustrated with love people out there. It's not the whole thing, but it's the best part.
I updated the links page (i.e. "destinations") and added some links to some of the other places I have built on the web. You can check those out when you are bored, if you haven't already seen them before.
I have a pimple on my ear.
I wanna buy another Volkswagen. My GTI was so much more enjoyable to drive than the thing that I have now. Not that what I have is a bad car, it's a great car. It's nice. But it's not enjoyable. It's not fun. It's not exciting.
I was thinking tonight. About how I used to skate around everywhere freshman year, with Kenny or Cindy or whoever. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. Freshman year was fun. Everything was a new experience. What an exciting time. But I also thought about how miserable it must be to be a sophomore and still think that San Diego is just UCSD, La Jolla Village Square and UTC. And not know all of the other great places to go or be in San Diego. Man what a sorry existance that is. I'm so glad I'm past that!

Monday, 18 October 1999
3:25am, monday night

I went to class today. It wasn't particularly exciting. I went to the CAPE office afterwards. Everything was a mess. But at least I'm going to get paid this wednesday. I went to the bookstore to buy the educational version of Macromedia Flash. It's only $99. Yeah I know I can get it for free from other places. But I want the book. They were sold out anyway, so it doesn't matter.
I invited Mimi over for dinner. I made her some spaghetti. I served her some wine. She turned 21 on Sunday. She's legal. This is the first time I have ever gotten her to drink anything on the first try.
So I wanted to play with Flash today. But I couldn't buy it. Lawerence suggested I download the free 30 day trial version, if all I wanted to do tonight was play with it. With or without the book. Sounded like a good idea to me. So I did it. It's the full version, but with a 30 day limit on it. It works.
So over there on the right is the product of my... well, my love for Trista, really. This is the next thing that is going to go on the I Love Trista Page when I get around to it. I hope you have the Flash plugin on your browser or else you won't be able to see it.
And in case my design is too lame and you don't know what you are supposed to do, you are supposed to click on that big grey oval with the triangle on it to make it go. Man, this was really fun to make. Flash is so easy to use. I could totally use this on a website or two. But it's one of those things where you have to already have an idea in mind or else you are just going to make something really lame.
Man I am such a dork. Look at this thing I made. Oh well, good thing I don't have class tomorrow or else I'd be screwed!! Lucky me, hahahaha.

Wednesday, 20 October 1999 3:00am, wednesday night

Boy, Flash is so fun to play with! It's wonderful. All I've been doing these past few days is play with flash! By the way, if you tried to play with the little Ms. BRYMAN thing yesterday and it worked but you didn't get any sound... try it again today. The reason you didn't get sound may be because your Flash Plugin is version 3 but my file was for version 4. I haven't tested it yet, but hopefully it will work for you now.
I've been working on a Flash version of the CAPE staff page, I am almost done, I just need to put the finishing touches on it. It will be up in a day or two for sure. And it's very snazzy, I must say! I'm also starting another project with Flash but this one could take a while. But it will hopefully be worth it. Hopefully I say, because I want to do Cami's reading of her poem justice. But at least it's a good reading, if nothing else. This one's going to take me a while though, I have to look for all the right images and sounds. It's the type of thing they'd probably make you do in a Visual Arts class, but I wouldn't know, I've never taken any.
Other than that, I don't really have much to talk about, because really, I'll I've been doing all day and night is play with Flash. It's so powerful, yet so easy to use. And it's free... for 30 days at least. So anyway, I better go to bed now because it's late.