who is me?

ok, so i've been gone from this update for a while. i really wished that i could have filled it up with stuff, but yes it is true, there are some things that need to not go in here.

if all you know of me is the guy on this website, i'm sorry, but i'm not that guy. what you see is only the best, the stuff that has been filtered through whatever system i happen to use at the moment. i'm not really running around doing all kinds of exciting things at all. the real me would like to stay at home every night and sit in front of the computer with a beer and not be bothered and just be alone. the real me wishes that he were somewhere that the people who think you always need to be doing something exciting would just leave him alone. so what if i'd rather not go out and get drunk with a bunch of people i'd rather not hang out with? what's so wrong about that? what's with the pressure to have a "good time" when having a good time usually ends up being more trouble than it's worth. yes, i am a party pooper. and so what if i am. i love being alone. i love spending time with myself. i love me.

all girls who deny that nice guys finish last are the same girls that are out there using those nice guys up.

nice guys who get frustrated seeing girls with jerks... frustrated with hearing "i wish i could find a guy just like you... but not you" (but not in so many words)... sometimes think about becoming a jerk just to see if it works. but you know what? the really nice guys can't even bring themselves to even try it out for a little while. and they get dumped on.

no one really cares about anyone else anyway. only themselves.

i am tempted to go and become a hermit. not the mountain-man living in the hills with no human contact type, but a more modern type. you know, live in a place where you never see the same person twice. that way you can still get your necessary human contact, but you won't ever really have to deal with people. people who don't really care about anyone else, even though they say they do. even though they want to believe that they do. because they wouldn't want to believe that they'd actually be so shallow. and you can still get all your amenities of modern life, like internet access.

i think if more people cared less about what other people think, there would be a lot more happy people on this planet. do what you want to make yourself happy, not what will make other people happy, or even what other people say would make you happy. don't let people tell you that you're wasting your time doing something you love. if you love it and you enjoy it, then you are not wasting your time. mindlessly flipping through tv channels for hours on end is wasting time -- unless you really do have a serious passion for it.

go your own way. do what you want, because what works for some people won't necessarily work for others. this is true in everything from teaching methods to pimple medicine. and don't let yourself get locked into one method. keep an open mind, because there is no way one mind can do all the thinking to figure out every aspect of everything in this life to be able to find the best way to do everything.

for you college kids (and younger) out there that might be reading this: a college degree is a good thing to have. but don't get locked into one way of thinking or one philosophy of life. and please don't become one of those people that think it's impossible to succeed in life without a degree. if you look at the top, say, 100 richest guys in the country right now, a significant portion of them are college dropouts. i'm not saying that dropping out is the key to success. but many of the ones who drop out because they'd rather be doing something better... and actually have the guts to go against the norm and take a risk like that... are probably also the kind of people would take risks in other aspects in life too.

you don't become a multi-billionaire by doing the same thing that everyone else is doing.

it's the people who are willing to go out on a limb that get to that point. that doesn't mean that people who stick around and finish school are all cowards, i'm not saying that at all. and having that degree under your belt certainly isn't going to hurt you. but being closed minded and never taking risks...

i sincerely believe that the people who are in school to day, working toward their degree in whatever field just because they heard there is good money in that field... the people who are in school just because it's the thing to do, or because you "need" a degree to be "successful"... are the kind of people who spend their whole lives working in jobs they hate (or at least, don't love), trying to work their way up that good ol' corporate ladder toward whatever success is. i never want to be one of those people.

of course, there are certain professions where you can't get around it. you wanna be a lawyer? you gotta go to school. you want to be a doctor? you gotta go to school. there's no way around it. but let me ask you this -- who would you rather have performing surgery on your kids: the guy who has a genuine passion for medicine; or the guy who went to med school because he heard you could make a lot of money by becoming a doctor?

you can make a lot of money by practicing medicine. but you'll never make william h. gates kind of money.

especially if the only real reason you even went into medicine in the first place was because you heard there was a lot of money. because everyone wants to go to med school because they like to "help people". go out on a limb and do what you want to do.

i could be all wrong though. i mean, in 5 or 10 or 2 years i might come back to this thing and read it and laugh at myself and at how young and stupid i was, early in the year 2001. kind of in the same way i laugh at how trite and stupid i was for thinking i was so clever writing about how lame high school was when i first came to college.

some people have commented that i can make even the most mundane aspects of my life seem exciting. they would even say that i have a talent for doing that. i think most of it just comes from the fact that i write about stuff that other people would never write. not because it's so amazing or incredible or whatever, but because if they were sitting there trying to write something, they wouldn't write what i write because it would seem too stupid to write. who would want to hear about that anyway? it's too stupid, no one is going to want to read that. so that thought process blocks the pen from ever hitting the paper (or the fingertips never hit the keys) and no one writes that stuff. then when i write all that lame stuff up, people go "wow, that's really cool" thinking that i have some great talent, when really, it only seems original and cool because they've never seen anything like that before because everyone is just too concerned about whether something is cool enough or not. just stretch it out. pull out all the details.

there is so much detail in even the smallest, most insignificant events that go on in daily life that you can make anything sound exciting.

i'm pale. i haven't done any physical activities or gone outside or anything like that in months. well the pale part can't really be helped anyway. it's winter time, and the days are short and by the time i get off work, the sun is already gone. and where has my six-pack gone?

so do your own thing. make yourself happy first, then worry about what people will think about it. look at the nice little details in life, and remember...

all your base are belong to us.